i haven’t updated this in months, but it’s a good place to keep track of this list. i made it yesterday over a few hours.

beginning 1/2/2010 to 10/1/2012

1. plan our wedding/have our wedding

2. read all of the books i would like to read this year (30 for 2010)

3. try and write at least once a week (i will probably end up doing this here)

4. learn to drive stick (plan a time to do this with h)

5. continue practicing yoga (at least 1x per week)

6. get my teaching certification

7. drink more water (buy one of those fancy bottles to keep you motivated)

8. organize my clothes/sell some/donate the rest

9. grow our own herbs (we can buy them initially)

10. go to the farmers markets in our area in the spring and summer

11. see all of the movies on my list (30 new ones in 2010)

12. throw our old magazines/simplify clutter in the apt

13. take an art class

14. buy a watch

15. buy a sophisticated winter jacket

16. buy warm winter boots

17. read the news/most popular ny times articles daily

18. adopt a brother or sister for zoe

19. re-learn spanish

20. donate to a worthy cause 2x per year

21. whiten my teeth

22. go to the dentist

23. stop using plastic bags

24. get published

25. take advantage of what TFA has to offer

26. buy a wii

27.make a list of 50 things that makes me happy

28. organize my files

29. organize my music

30. organize my photos

31. get new glasses

32. try out contacts

33. participate in/start a book club

34. stay vegetarian

35. continue to expand my vocabulary through word of the day

36. try 20 new places to eat in nyc with h.

37. visit and taste all of the vendy carts

38. buy flowers for our apt once a month

39. participate in 365 project

40. work on making more meals/better food for us

41. take a “wikiversity” course

42. learn a song on the guitar

43. host another potluck

44. get/maintain penpal

45. listen to new band/album each week

46. learn more about art (don’t be lazy)

47. keep my car up to date/clean

48. get pet insurance for zoe

49. use my planner

50. be more informed about local politics

51. try all nearby restaurants/shops

52. open an etsy shop

53. have a garage sale this summer

54. finish the HP series (books and movies)

55. make/buy zoe a doggie bed

56. try to make my own candles

57. run in a 5K

58. run with zoe 1x per week in the nicer weather

59. volunteer!

60. visit portland/seattle

61. remember to take multivitamin

62. sell a painting

63. do charity walk/run

64. have yearly roadtrip of some sort with h

65. go to drive-in movie with h

66. buy a bed-set for us

67. buy our own home/condo

68. sing karaoke

69. keep a paper journal

70. write letters to old professors

71. decide on getting a tattoo or not

72. watch all rutgers games - continue to be a supportive alumni

73. read all of the books on our bookshelf

74. see becky more than 1x/year

75. get an adult wardrobe for teaching

76. decorate apt - put stuff on my walls

77. improve posture

78. communicate better w/ h

79. try a fruit i’ve never had before

80. apply to grad schools again

81. don’t buy clothes that you don’t need

82. start to bead again

83. paint more with h, support his creativity

84. try 5 new beers

85. learn to knit/crochet

86. no more parking tickets/late fees

87. learn more about photography/how to use my camera

88. cut out negative people from my life

89. read before bed

90. visit 10 new US cities

91. make a loaf of bread

92. go overseas

93. go to at least 10 shows

94. eat less sweets

95. go hiking at least once each summer

96. create budget/to do list for wedding

97. try to eat more organic foods

98. do ab exercises 3x week

99. try to tame roadrage

100. bake zoe treats

101. continue to find ways to make h happy

So on days like this at around midway through the day, I get incredibly depressed. I’ve never really felt this way before on such a consistent basis.

My other unemployed friends are more enthusiastic about their time off; they’re happy that they can waste the day away, they still spend money whenever they like, they don’t worry endlessly.

It irks me so much that this is what my life has come to. All of the long days at school and work and the awful office politics were going to be forgotten once I started school. It’s really hard for me not to cry when I realize that all of the effort, time, and money I put into grad school applications and the GRE were for nothing.

I love the neighborhood I live in. It’s going to kill me to move away. I enjoy the hundred year old homes, the huge front porches, the view of Manhattan and the Hudson. My rent is a bit too expensive for my circumstance but damn, when we saw this place, we fell in love.

I’ve never been in this position before. I’m 23, unemployed, with no real definitive plans ahead of me.

I was laid off (from the job I secured before finishing college) a little over a month ago. I was one of 80+ people that received manila envelopes that Wednesday morning. Mistakenly I confided in my manager (after being prodded of course) about possibly going to graduate school in the fall.

I decided against attending any of my graduate schools the week before the layoff. The day of the layoff I informed all of my programs that I could not attend.

Since the layoff I’ve been feverishly applying to jobs I find on various job boards. Most of the jobs aren’t appealing but the reality of being job-less (for this long at that!) is a harsh one to face. I’ve been on a handful of awkward interviews. I worry about the cost for me to commute to face my stern-faced interviewers. I am still, unfortunately, jobless.

I’m also unsure of what I want to do with my life and career path. I enjoy working with children but I don’t think I’m meant to be in a classroom for decades. I like the idea of pursuing a PhD but I don’t think my interests fit any definite humanity or social science. I can’t leave my boyfriend to pursue graduate school and I can’t ask him to find a job in finance during these times.

Unfortunately, I hope for others to make my decisions for me.

For now, each day kind of collides into the other. I waste more time on the Internet than I’d like to admit. I haven’t even finished a book in the 30-something days I’ve had to do…nothing.